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You're only as old as you feel

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Loca Loma [Jan. 26th, 2006|11:23 pm]
You're only as old as you feel
[Current Mood |tiredtired]
[Current Music |Duke Ellington - Sophisticated Ladies]

Senora Health Freak is finally off her "low carb" kick. She finally admits to me that she was just doing it to get back at me for our little "no smoking" argument. Well, no shit that's all she was doing. You think I'd believe for two seconds that any self-respecting latina broad would honestly advocate a low carb life style? I knew that crazy dame just had it out for me. "Low carb".....what a crock of shit. Hell, if I lost any more weight, I'd stand very still, spread my arms out, and let people hang their coats and hats on me. So I knew that she knew I didn't need all that low carb shit. Too much more of that and I would have had a few earthworms crawling though my ears about six feet under. Serving low carb pasta to an Italian is just like serving a big plate of salt to a damn slug.
Well, ofcourse this means my darling Loma is on another kick: running. Moday through Friday, every damn morning. Yeah, she used to just do it by herself, but now she drags me along by the leash every fucking time. I tell you, the crazy dame wants to kill me and make it look like an accident. Sheesh, I haven't suffered this much since boot camp......and she still won't let me light up in doors.

Say, anyone interested in a lovely, "loca" hispanic widow?

On another note, my boys seem to really like it up here. I thought they'd enjoy it. They love the out doors, and the weather. (Loma hates it. The little hot house plant.) They've been doing a lot of rugged type things lately that I could never quite catch on to. The other night we ate a rabbit that Cath caught in the woods. How do you like that? I was so proud of him; catching dinner like that. Hell, I never did anything like that. I was such a little city-kid. The only thing I ever caught was a cab. I guess Kohl thinks he's behind now. Poor little competative Kohl. He's gonna try for a deer tomorrow. You know, gotta top that rabbit. Gotta be more manly than the other one......Ah, poor Kohlius.

Well, I'll catch you kids tomorrow if Loma and her crazy antics haven't killed me by then.

Good Night, Folkes
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Comments:
[User Picture]From: darkkoneko
2006-01-27 04:32 pm (UTC)
Well when we find you shrivled up under the bed, dead with low carb pasta hanging out of your mouth and running shoes strapped to your feet, we'll know who was responsible lol (by the way, lol is laugh out loud Al, to catch you up with the computer lingo ha ha)

Cath is such a good hunter. Did he try to "cook" the rabbit or did Loma? Kohl always wants to one up him (tht phrase always sounds so kinky) I'd like to see Kohl bag a deer. Are you sure that hunting is the only thing thing your boys ar doing in the woods? ha ha You should spy with binoculars....
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[User Picture]From: thegoodduke
2006-01-27 06:08 pm (UTC)
Oh, is that what "lol" means? I was wondering what the hell that was about. I thought it was one word - some kind of "cool" slang word or something. Well, thanks, Tiffany. I don't think I'll be using it, but at least now I'm hep to the jive. Ha. (lol, as you kids say)

So you'd like to see Kohl bag a deer, eh? I'd like to see him bag a broad - both of them. But it doesn't look like those kids are out chasing skirts - the pin-heads.

They had BETTER be just hunting, you sick dame! What the hell are you insinuating?! (Don't answer that please; lest I drown in my own vomit.) I don't think I'd be using any binoculars. That's more my mother, God rest her soul. You should heve met her while she was alive, Tiffany. She could have a real sick mind. You'd have been like two peas in a pod.
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[User Picture]From: swingsister
2006-01-27 06:16 pm (UTC)
Hey, how do you know so much about Al's boys? Does he e-mail you or something? I think he's gonna make you his new daughter Tiff. Hey, then you'll really never have to work again. Or, he can probably hook you up with a job in modeling. Hey Al, if you're reading this, take me in too! That way Tiff and me can live it up on the ritz, and fly down every summer to vistit our families. Yeah, that'd be the life.
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[User Picture]From: swingsister
2006-01-27 05:50 pm (UTC)
Yeah, I think Tiff is interested in a nice hot hispanic widow. lol. Just kidding.

How old are cath and Kohl? It's cool that they're hunting like that. You should ask them to teach you, city boy.
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